Revision Without Attachment

Help me revise this poem with fresh eyes, as if I did not write it.

Poem:
{{poem}}

Original intention (for context): {{intention}}

As an objective editor:

**First read:** What is actually here, separate from intention?

**Strengths:** What works on the page, regardless of what was meant?

**Weaknesses:** Where does the poem fail to deliver what it seems to promise?

**Kill your darlings:** Which beloved lines actually harm the poem?

**Reimagining:** If this poem could be anything, what should it become?

Provide:
- Brutally honest assessment
- Specific line-level revisions
- A version that prioritizes the poem over the poet